#9 A Man Who Defines a Nation

Hello and Merry Christmas everyone. I would like to take a brief moment and say sorry. I know the 10 people who read my blog are always on my case to write a new post and currently I find myself sitting alone in my windowless apartment early Christmas mornin a bit to wired to sleep so alas here I go again.

Cheers!


Every once in a blue moon the planets will align and a phenonmenon will help to define a nation: The Beatles, Elvis, Michael Jackson, Barack Obama, Coolio, Nickelback etc. etc.

and then this happened...

Ladies and Gents, I would like to introduce you to the man I lovingly named Mr. Spicy.



I first stumbled upon this rare and exotic creature waiting in line for the subway. I think the picture speaks volumes. Everyone around Mr. Spicy fades into the background as this red poly blend explosion steals the spotlight. From behind he looked like a very eccentrically dressed older woman. From the front a man who looks like a circus mixed with glitter, diamonds and muppets vomited all over him. I think what I appreciate most is his attention to detail: notice how his gloves are the same exact color of his suit. I silently stalked him on the subway for 10 minutes before I got the nerve to get my camera out. At first I was nervous, hiding behind girls with large racoon tails hanging off their bums to shield the direct glare from all the bling bling. Eventually I just started openly taking some snaps...let's face it...when one dresses like this perhaps they are craving a bit more attention, eh?

I'll have whatever he is having.

#8 Grandma Chic

Thank you for being a friend...

I would like to give a warm, heart felt shout out to the Golden Girls; Susan Harris, Bea Arthur, Betty White and Rue McClanahan. Thank you for giving us years of inspiration that has set forth an ongoing trend of fashionable grandma chic...you are my heroes. Hollywood is swarming with young starlets, and nobodies alike who have taken this form of dressing down in age to up their style.

Take this girl for example...

1. Over sized unnecessary plastic bifocal lenses

2. Ruffly pepto bismal pink dress, right off the salvation army rack (or perhaps Marc Jacobs)

3. Quilted bag that looks like the material was stolen from my German Grandmas fancy couch...which she strategically covers with a Rainbow Brite Duvet circa 1983 to keep it so fresh and so clean, clean, clean

4. Cropped faux-fur jacket, Grandma chic is animal friendly

5. Black opaque tights

6. Converse high-tops...so as to give off the, "I didn't even try to pull this look of, I'm so hipster it just sorta happened" vibe

Grandma chic is adorable. I will give you that, but what do you get when you add:

1 Part Grandma Chic + 1 Part Korean Teen = Pretty Dang Cute

Most girls walk around here in one respect or another, looking in some part like a Grandma. I think it is the over sized cable knit cardigans or the shirt collars that go up to the ears...Korea may rock the booty shorts but it is not known for it's cleavage. Yes, for the most part Grandma chic is sprung all around this lovely country...

And then...this girl happened.

When I say, you had to be there...really, you had to be there. Aside from her outfit, this woman is clinically insane. She sauntered over to our table at our local Soju Hof and did not stop harassing us the entire night. In all due respect we were trying to steal her male friends shirt, what ensued made for some everlasting memories; jumping on the tables, threats of physical assault, a choreographed dance from the hit K-Pop group 2NE1. Let's take a quick moment to talk about the outfit. She actually has Grandma chic down to an art...

1. Silky Floridian neck scarf popular with Grannies the world over

2. Pink...lots of pink, pink everywhere...probably was some of the semi-inspiration for the popular Aerosmith song "Pink"

3. Pearl earrings

4. White opaque tights

5. A baby pink (duh) scalloped skirt

I guess when it comes down to Grandma Chic, it is more of a state of mind then an actual outfit. If you're rockin your cute little Bubby outfit, and then act like Christian Bale out of a scene of American Physco, maybe the look just isn't for you.

Cheers!

#7 The Mullet

Mullets (sigh)...where do I even begin? First off I would like to dedicate this post to my principal, she is a well respected educator, went to gradute school at Penn and got a mullet haircut yesterday. Despite the hard knocks I deal asian fashion, Korea, for the most part is very up and coming on fashion trends, BUT if this is the direction the tide is turning it may be time to jump ship. The first mullet recorded in history was donned by Welsh pop singer Tom Jones in the 1960's, and later the faux-mullet by glam-rocker David Bowie in the 1970's. The mullet seems to take on a persona of it's own, people who rock out with their mullet out, no longer are addressed by their name, but referred to as "oh, that one guy/girl with the mullet." Mullets are kinda like the band Nickelback, were not quite sure how they became popular, but someone must like them because they have survived this long. I spotted this woman while on the island of Jeju a few weeks back. It was a beautiful hike, gorgeous sunset, pristine weather, good conversation...no matter how hard I tried to draw my attention to something else, my eye kept catching this mullet haircut. Thats the thing about mullets, they are show stealers. In Korea, where the jewelry is bedazzled, the booty shorts reveal major crackage and the heels are 5 inches tall, anything used to grab attention is a good thing...even the mullet.

#6 Animal Hats

I would like to take a moment to apologize for my several month long sabatical from this blog. After complaints from my 3 groupies back in Michigan I felt it was time for a quick Soggy Waffle update. Since we are making our way into the summer months, I really feel a deep burning passion to share with you one last winter trend. Very popular among infants and toddlers 'round the world, but catering to a greater niche market here in Korea I give you the furry animal hat. As far as my take on this fashion flop, it does serve a very functional purpose of warmth, but...so do many other winter hats. Why wear a beanie when you can wear a cow, bear, duck or pig? This fits into the very feminized culture, where the men can carry purses and dress pants can be tighter then spandex, and there is a desire to wear furry animals on their head. I will be looking forward to beach season which starts promptly on June 1st. Perhaps there will be fluffy animal speedos...cross your fingers.

#5 Men in Tight Pants

Yes, flesh colored pants painted to your physique, when did this become a good idea? I feel borderline immoral posting this picture, but my task when writing this blog was to show people real things people are wearing over here, and folks this is as real as it gets. I spotted this man standing in line for the Pirate ship ride at the local amusement park (and yes, he did come dressed like this to the amusement park). It actually wasn't his pants that caught my attention, but his John Travolta hairdo circa Saturday Night Fever that he and his buddy were sporting, but I decided in this case the pants were worth sharing. I feel as if I am doing this man and other tight pants wearing Koreans a giant injustice by not telling them their bums are highly visible, much like the way someone tries to politely tell you when there is something green caught inbetween your teeth. When it comes to pants, men in Korea (although this list is appliciable to all) should abide by 3 basic rules:

1. If you size 2 girlfriend has larger pants on then you, perhaps you should go up one size.

2. If you need to lay on a bed and/or apply baking grease to your thighs in order to button said pants, perhaps you should go up one size.

3. Leisure suits died in the 1970's, let's keep them there.

#4 Dressing Your Children Like Grandparents

Have you ever experianced the awkward sitution when an older adult tries to have you guess their age? The question is usualy posed "How old do YOU think I am?" To eliminate the chance of guessing too old and possibly offending or insulting said older adult, you choose to lowball the age as to offer the most seemingly sincere compliment the universe has ever heard since someone told Michael Jackson his nose looked realistic. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would feel this same awkwardness when trying to guess a Korean childs age. This photo does this fashion trend no justice, one time I witnessed a 2 year old in a bow tie, black and white striped socks, Mr. Rodgers cardigan, sperry shoes and salmon colored chinos. It seems almost like a child is a type of fashion accesory rather then a little person who will at one point during the day spill food on their Burberry coat.

#3 Mixing Plaids

I know back in the USA, plaid is all the rage. Anyone who has survived the Nirvana grunge phase back in the early 90's, kept one throwback plaid shirt that has recently made a comeback throughout the Forever 21's and H&M's of the world. If you listen to Sufjan or Sigur, chances are you own a plaid shirt. If you hunt and have a full beard, chances are you own a plaid shirt. If you are in love with Salvation Army, Goodwill or any other vintage or discount clothing store, chances are you own a plaid shirt. Korea is no exception to this trend, the tartans are out in full swing and everyone from infants to the elderly is not immune. I think the quality I appreciate most in Koreans is their, dare to go there attitude when it comes to mixing two different plaid prints into one outfit. If you like the design of something the logical equation is to wear more then one of them.

"Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinate nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy." -Albert Einstein